


Japanese Doll

by shinidamachu



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, InuYasha Oneshot, Kagome Higurashi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 10:16:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21251750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinidamachu/pseuds/shinidamachu
Summary: And she lived happily ever after... or so she thought. What to do when you are ripped off from your fairy tale and thrown into a horror story?





	Japanese Doll

When Kagome woke up that night, it was her worst nightmare that greeted her to conscious.**  
**

Bit by bit, and without fully comprehending, she took in the view of the room that was once hers, unmistakable even in the black. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. Like the pained whispers of a funeral.

The young priestess didn’t expect to be there ever again. She _shouldn’t_ be. That was the deal — a lifetime of happiness with the man she loved in exchange of nevermore setting a feet on her own era — and she had accepted it with every string attached.

_Then why was she there?_ Could it be that her return to the Sengoku had been nothing but a cruel dream? Impossible. She had felt the passage of time in her womb as it bore their first child. It wasn’t something her mind could forge, at least not that realistically so.

Her thoughts were a puzzle of incompatible pieces, buzzing so loud in her ears that only the thunder announcing the storm outside managed to be as strident. Not a slit of light dared to trespass the ajar door. Still groggy, Kagome crawled out the bed, its sheets feeling utterly foreign to her skin.

A few hesitant steps and she was pulling the knob carefully, making it squeak.

“Mom?” She tried, a single tear escaping her eyes while a bad feeling took the form of goosebumps on her arms. “Sota? Grandpa?”

No reply.

Walking outside, a putrid scent stole the air from her lungs like a punch in the guts. Kagome had inhaled that odor too many times to be naive about it. There was no doubt.

She had just smelled death.

Now shaking, she forced herself to go down the stairs, a billion horrific scenarios playing in her brain on repeat. Every little noise the wood made under her weight was enough to set her heart racing.

Finally stepping into the living room, Kagome snapped her gaze through the darkness, searching for something she was terrified to find.

Gasping when a shadow that resembled a silhouette caught her peripheral vision, she turned just in time to see a lightning reveal his hideous features by the window. For the first time that night, the knot on her throat loosened.

And she screamed.

Her stomach seemed to fall in infinite loop, the hair on her nape were crimped up in a way they never did while the creepiest feeling climbed down her spine, freezing her in place.

Kagome shook her head, as if refusing to acknowledge the scene before her could somehow make it disappear.

He hasn’t changed at all. She would know. For years, every detail of his figure was imprinted on her soul, becoming the impersonation of her deepest fears. For the majority of the time, Kagome would successfully push it to the back of her mind — she had to, in order to survive the horde of demonic creatures always on her pursuit —, but that fear never left. It kept waiting on the sidelines for another chance to get her alone, another lowered guard, another almost.

Eventually, Kagome got used to living with that kind of threat constantly sniffing on her neck — all women did, after all. What made it easier was knowing the man that represented that danger for her was long gone.

Yet, there he was. 

The white of his clothes were tarnished by blood, including the adornment that covered his mouth, leaving exclusively his lifeless eyes at sight. No matter how wide he smiled, it never reached them. Kagome remembered that well.

Mukotsu slowly raised the axe he held in his hand — blood dripped from it as well — and just as a magician had snapped his fingers, Kagome woke up from the trance, running to the kitchen.

_Wake up_, she kept asking herself, _wake up, wake up, wake up_.

The Master of Poisons showed no rush, but still followed her down the hall, making Kagome brace herself for whatever substance he meant to plague her with.

However, it wasn’t a poison that took her down.

Something solid and alarmingly soft had thrown her off balance. Fallen on the floor and utterly aware of his imminent approach, it wasn’t hard for Kagome to decide that whatever tripped her, would have to remain a mystery.

Then, with a sinister click, the lights went on.

The panic Kagome was incapable to voice came out in sharply drawn breaths and violent chills.

If she had thought waking up without InuYasha in her childhood bedroom was her worst nightmare, that was nothing compared to the horror of finding out she had stumbled on the ensanguined corpse of her mother.

Had the fatal wounds on her body not being sufficient indication, the dull eyes would do the trick — they told Kagome everything she already knew but still couldn’t really process. Lying near, were her brother and grandpa, equally covered on their own fluids. Without even touching, Kagome knew they would feel cold.

Mukotsu left his spot by the light switch, entering the room and driving her attention away from the carnage in which her kitchen had turned. Now that the mask was off, his almost toothless smile set her on her feet. She had lost precious time. Her chances to reach the back door before getting caught diminished by the second.

Acting on pure instinct, Kagome grabbed an abandoned knife on the sink and held it protectively between them.

After years of fighting the nastiest opponents and surviving, she unlearned how to be a prey. Since her bow became an extension of her body and she got a hold of her spiritual powers, Kagome had become someone to fear in the face of a battle. Now, devoid of archery, said powers were the only thing she had to lean on.

And a knife.

Her thoughts went back to InuYasha. How desperately she wanted him to just show up and save the day somehow. Something inside her stomach revolted, both from the strong smells and from the realization that this was the exact wish she made when she had first encountered the Shichinintai member. If it hadn’t been for Sesshoumaru…

Kagome was gonna throw up. She was positive of it.

“STAY AWAY!” She imposed herself above the rain noise. Timbre steady, hands trembling.

“That’s no way to greet your groom.” Replied Mukotsu. His voice was as deep as she recalled, but the goofy tone that detuned it in weird places was still there.

None of it made sense. By just being there, Mukotsu defied every universal law Kagome believed in. She would be the first to admit it wasn’t a long list, considering the insane experiences she went through. Of two of them, however, she was absolutely sure.

One, death — for the most part — was an irrevocable rule. _And she saw him die_. 

Two, the well didn’t work for anybody besides her and her husband. Sometimes, not even for them, as Kagome had felt on her own skin for the entirety of three years.

Part of her, the rational one, wanted to ask him _how _and _why_. The other part just wanted to stick the quivering blade on him as deeply as possible and run to safety, to InuYasha.

“I SAID STAY AWAY!” Kagome tried to stand her ground, in vain. He was getting closer. She was cornered. 

“Still scrappy.” Mukotsu mused, clearly unaffected by her threatening posture. 

Once he got in her reach, Kagome uncerismonly buried the knife into his neck and ran.

A pained groan dissolved into laughter behind her, followed by the metalic sound of a blade hitting the floor. Kagome didn’t get far before he managed to knock her down — hands opening in reflex to ease the fall, she immediately resumed her flee by crawling away, eager to put as many space between them as she could, but there was no matching his strength.

Mukotsu turned Kagome over, climbing on the top of her as she scratched and kicked nonstop. He had to put the axe aside to immobilize her properly. Fresh blood started to drip all over her uniform.

“GET OFF ME!” Her throat emitted the words, but it was in her soul she channeled every drop of energy, in order to release that dormant power within.

Nothing happened.

Raw terror threatened to disable any reaction Kagome might pull as her defeat became more and more evident. Nonetheless, she kept fighting. It was exhausting and futile at that point, but she knew what the alternative was. Fighting was all she had.

“You are just as pretty as I remembered.” He ran a finger through her cheek. His touch felt strangely warm and wet and she knew instantly it had left a trail of blood on her face. Kagome wondered, in vain, to which member of her family it belonged to, or if the slaughter had annihilated any chance to tell it apart.

The more the contact lasted, the more she ached for a shower. Anticipating what he was about to do, every inch of her protested the imposed closeness. She found herself hoping he’d just kill her already. A clean, swift, painless death. That would be the best case scenario, given the circumstances.

_‘Kill me! Please, just kill me’_, she thought, refusing to give him the satisfaction to hear her begging. Mukotsu would never let her go, one way or another.

“You are not getting away this time.” As she bit back her sobs, he took both her wrists with one hand and the axe with the other, lifting it to a good — aligned with her neck — distance. Kagome could hardly believe when she caught his intentions, shutting her eyes to cage the relieved tears. With InuYasha’s smile pictured behind her eyelids, she accepted her fate.

The last thing she heard was the swishing sound of an axe coming down.

* * *

As soon as Kagome came to consciousness, her hands flew to her throat, where Mukotsu’s final strike was supposed to be. There was nothing there but cold sweat, but Kagome was no fool.

It was clear now she wasn’t having a nightmare. 

She was living in one.

Someone or something was toying her like a Slinky and Kagome needed to get to InuYasha at once.

She kicked the sheets off herself — breath still hasty — and considered her options as her eyes adjusted to the dark.

The unsettling feeling of a presence she couldn’t see told her that Mukotsu was still downstairs. Waiting.

Kagome couldn’t bring herself to come down and check. She couldn’t risk reliving the trauma of finding her family in that dreadful condition ever again. It was just too much.

The priestess left the bed — careful not to drive attention to her awakening — and stepped inside a pair of shoes, looking for anything that might help her fight or flee. 

No bow or arrows at sight. Nothing sharpy or heavy she could make use of. Kagome doubt her spiritual powers would work, either, and given the previous failure, she was less than enthusiastic to try again. The insistent din against the curtained window reminded her of the raging storm outside and Kagome made a decision.

The umbrella she abandoned on the top of the wardrobe years ago was probably still there. Daring to hope, she navigated between furniture and triumphantly avoided potential tripping risks.

There it was. She grabbed the ferrule and pulled, realizing too late in her eagerness that something was attached to the handle. Whatever the object was, her movement made it drop into the floor with an audible thud.

Both her feet and heart stopped in place as Kagome got engulfed by a reverie of despair. She has been discovered. He was coming for her. Seconds crawled unrushed, one after the other. It looked like she was in the clear.

With renewed determination and umbrella in hand, Kagome marched to the window, pushing the curtains apart and lifting the glass open.

Then, without a warning, the door slammed, making her startle. She turned around to find Mukotsu, every bit the frightening monster from the past time. Kagome gripped the umbrella tigh to ease the tremors that took over her hands and before he could react, she jumped off the window.

It wasn’t a long fall, but the chilly air surrounding her all the way down made it feel eternal. The muddy ground approached in slow motion and when her feet finally collided against it, they did so in a bad angle. A searing pain inflicted her right ankle right away.

Kagome fell to her knees and whimpered. Under the incessant rain, she tried to surpass the ache and just keep going, but the unexpected sound of breaking glass announced it wouldn’t be that easy to escape.

Mukotsu had jumped after her, axe in hand. All the sirens going off on her brain screamed danger. She started moving, but in matter of instants he caught her by the injured ankle, making her screech and collapse face first in the mud.

“Where do you think you’re going without your groom?”

Without thinking twice, she yelled again — either from pain or adrenaline — and shoved the tip of the umbrella into his left eye with all the strength she managed to gather.

His hand instantly let go of her to nurse the damage as a guttural howl fell off his lips. Kagome seized the opportunity and ran to the Well House. Every step was torture, bringing her close to salvation and unlocking new levels of agony at the same time, but she wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t.

She threw at Mukotsu a final look back. His face was red with blood and rage, umbrella and axe tossed to the side. Kagome didn’t have too long now. Driving her gaze forward, her undivided focus was on the time portal.

Kagome jumped into the well and sighed in relief when the well known passage of years embraced her, transporting her back to another era. Part of her was terrified it wouldn’t work again, since nothing else seemed to do from the moment she woke up.

When she emerged, the urgency to go to InuYasha and the fear of being followed by Mukotsu set her running despite the soreness. She had to assume if he was able to show up at modern Tokyo, he might as well pursue her to the Feudal Era and the well was the only way to do that. She needed to put maximum distance between them.

It wasn’t raining, but the wind was cool and blew through her wet skin with the fury of a hundred daggers, the pain rivaling with the one in her ankle. Even so, Kagome refused to slow down now that she was so close to home.

Not once had occurred to her that the path of hope she so firmly walked on could crack under her strides, leaving her adrift. It was, however, exactly what happened just as she made the turn that should put their simple hut at sight.

Kagome felt electrified like the sky she left in the other side of the well.

There, in front of what their place was supposed to be, her knees gave in. Every inch of ground was taken by untouched flora. Nothing led to believe that, someday, a happy family used to call those desert lands home.

“I-I don’t understand.” Kagome stared at the empty field, feeling empty herself. The miko was willing to bet that whoever was playing this cruel games with them had got to InuYasha first, but there was no signal of fight and her husband would put up one for sure. It was so frustrating to try and come up with explanations only to have more questions popping up. 

She didn’t want to do it all on her own, without as much as knowing if her family was safe. Very little about everything that was happening that night seemed real, but it _did _feel like it to a frightful extent.

“InuYasha.” She wished for him, as if that alone could conjure the hanyou there. Her breath shook along with the tree leaves, the whistling wind their only company.

Or so she thought.

His small shape sprang out of nowhere, surprising Kagome just when she began to believe nothing in this fever dream could caught her off guard anymore. His contained chuckle prevented the tears she was about to shed.

“There is no use on calling for the half-breed.” Hakudoshi resembled an apparition, standing so palid in the clearing with the wind on his hair and shadows on his cheeks. His angelic face could fool anyone who didn’t know better. He was the devil.

“Where is he? _What did you do to him?_” Kagome wrapped her fingers around a handful of grass, wishing it was Hakudoshi’s neck instead. As much as she wanted to unleash her fury upon him, it would have to wait: the incarnation may hold the key to unsolve this distasteful ploy once and for all.

In fact, Kagome was mad at herself for not realizing sooner that this had Naraku’s fingerprints all over it. Of course, he was supposed to be dead. But so was Mukotsu. And so was Hakudoshi. If someone could trick death to seek vengeance, it would be Naraku. And who else would be his targets, if not her and InuYasha?

“I see your heart is still tainted by the likes of him.” He paused, savoring something she failed to perceive, then reducing the distance between them in two elegant steps. Kagome was used to see him with Kagura — or whichever creature Naraku designed to kill them that time — by his side. Alone and unarmed, the boy didn’t appear to be much of a threat. It was his mind games she should be looking out for. “I remember it well. All of that precious darkness, hidden behind a righteous facade. You try to fight it, but it’s there. It will always be.” Hakudoshi giggled again and it was an arduous task restraining herself from slapping that smile right off his lips.

“_Listen_,” she menaced, “I’m really _not _in the mood. Either tell me where he is or get out of my way!”

Clumsily trying to stand on her good ankle, Kagome stared him with every sign of deep dislike. She was soaked and cold. Mud covered most of her face. Everyone she ever loved was either dead or nowhere to be found. She was in pain and frightened and confused and wanted to scream into the void until her voice was gone. An uncalled for reminder that she used to cultivate such terrible feelings was the last thing she needed.

Long ago, back when Hakudoshi was still part of the Infant, he reached for the darkness within her heart, meaning to corrupt and use her to find the remaining shards of the Sacred Jewel. He tried to twist her love for InuYasha, to pin her against her best friend in the entire world. Kagome was not proud to admit he almost got away with it.

“I’m afraid I didn’t see him around.”

Kagome didn’t bother to grant him not even the briefest of eye rolls. It was a lie, but in spite of her talk she was in no conditions of doing something about it. She was about to leave when he spoke again.

“I did, however, met a new friend. A charming, brunette little child. What was her name again? Izayoi, was it?”

She froze at the mention of that name. Their poker faces were useless now. He had the winner hand. And he smiled because they both knew.

Ignoring her body’s plead for stillness, Kagome walked towards him, getting closer than she ever intentionally did.

“If you so much as _touched _a single strand of my daughter’s hair, _then so help me_...”

“You have nothing to fear.” Assured Hakudoshi, too affable to be trusted. “I just wanted to see what was in her heart.” Looking their surroundings conspiratorially, he toned his words down to a whisper. “Do you want to know how I did it?”

Keen pain clawed up her abdomen faster than any reply could be build and the air involuntarily expelled from her mouth soon turned into blood. It only took one look at the source of the damage to understand what had happened. He had a weapon hidden in his sleeves all along.

Hakudoshi removed the dagger from her insides and watched the blood flow, a pool of it forming on the ground while a fraction was spread on his face.

As Kagome broke down, agonizing, he struck her again.

And again.

And again.

* * *

Hand in hand with her senses, came a strange touch of acceptance.

The looping Kagome was stuck into caused the ceiling of her bedroom to be such a predictable vision, she recognized it within a heartbeat even in the complete lack of light.

Not that someone could come to terms with getting violently murdered so effortlessly, but death gets a little less scary when you already know what happens after.

Having learned from past mistakes, the priestess moved with expertise, dodging from anything that might drive attention to herself.

Until the time to make noise came.

She pushed the wardrobe to block the door, yelling ‘come and get me, you prick!’ just in case the friction of wood against pottery wasn’t loud enough.

Kagome didn’t stay to see it work. Climbing down the window, she shielded herself from the rain with the umbrella. Literally and figuratively in the eye of the storm, it was inexplicably good to use the item in its primary function for a change.

Running to the Well House was no trouble. The advantage of a healed ankle was everything she had prayed for. By the time she felt Mukotsu’s gaze burning on her back, she was too close to the well to be stopped. On the verge of freedom, Kagome didn’t met his furious stare, framed by lightning and the window’s edges: she simply jumped.

The night air that welcomed her in the other side was much kinder than the one from her previous attempt, since Kagome was now dry. It would have been the perfect moment to come up with a plan, had she better clues to work with.

Kagome knew her best shot was finding InuYasha. She also knew their home was gone and he could be anywhere. What wouldn’t she give to have her powers returned? She didn’t even ask for much. Just long enough to search for his aura.

But it wouldn’t be that simple to make it out of that mess and she had made her peace with it four or five terrible things ago, so she settled for the next best option.

There was a place, not far away, where her connection with InuYasha was the strongest: it was the place where they first met. The Sacred Tree, just like the Bone-Eater's Well, linked their worlds and bonded their souls, always bringing them back to each other. Maybe she could use its powers to find him, somehow.

Dropping anything that could possibly slow her down, Kagome headed to the Goshinboku.

The already shy moonlight got dimmer the further she entered the depths of the forest, the night sky getting gradually swallowed by the canopy.

Distant caw. Owl hoots. Her own hurried steps. They were the only sounds filling the air. Branches scratched her skin like decrepit corpse fingers and every new shadow was a threat until proven otherwise.

Kagome was midway when something went zooming by from behind her and landed a few inches away from her feet. She could have identified the device blindfolded. It was an arrow. On her mind, she retraced its trajectory, trying to track it back to the archer behind the bow.

As soon as she trailed it to a specific tree veiled spot, another arrow flew to confirm her hunch. Swift and precise, it grazed against her cheek as it passed by, stirring her hair on its path.

A thread of blood came streaming down her face while the person who caused it made herself seen.

It was as if the moon, tired of its ethereal realm, abandoned the heavens to wander the Earth in woman form. Her hair was uncharacteristically loose, the clothes immaculate. Her eyes were alive but she carried death on her hands — under her ministration, the bow almost seemed almost light and the arrow was aimed directly to Kagome’s head.

“Kikyo.”

She should had seen it coming. Although they had parted on relatively good terms when Kikyo finally reached nirvana, her relationship with the undead priestess had been turbulent from day one, and with dead, old complications popping out left and right in this little set up, Kikyo’s presence wasn’t exactly shocking. Seeing her there, ready to strike, revived a collection of entombed feelings.

“What are you doing?” Kikyo didn’t respond. She didn’t have to. Her hostile behavior left no room for reasoning approaches as she walked forward, but Kagome was willing to give it a shot. She could be a powerful ally at breaking off this prison if Kagome snapped her out of the spell, curse, or whatever it was Naraku had inflected her with.

“Look at you, trying so hard to hold onto what was never yours.” Her condescension hit Kagome’s pride where it hurt, but her curiosity spoke louder.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you see? I’m talking about the world of the living.”

She was making no sense and Kagome’s patience was wearing thin. She took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten.

“Okay... Okay! This is great! Now why don’t you put that thing down so we can talk about what are you doing here, why everything is such a mess and how do we fix it?”

Oblivious to her positive speech, Kikyo made no motion except for curving her lips in a smile that could freeze the sun.

“It was foolish of you to think tragedy would never find you again.” A disapproving shake of her head was all it took and suddenly Kagome was a five years old who just got caught wearing her mother’s makeup and pretending to be an adult. “Silly girl, don’t you know happiness comes with a price? Don’t you know I am you and you are me? Disaster is our fate.”

“You’re wrong!” Her words came off more confident than she actually felt. Kagome might had even believed them if each blink didn’t bring her closer and closer to crying. _Not now_, she begged, _anytime but now_.

“It’s time for you to learn I am much more than only your past. Listen close now…” As if on cue, soul collectors emerged from every corner to circle around their master, flying by Kagome without any consideration for her personal space whatsoever. Crimson eyes seeing right through her, they had never looked more wicked and surrounded by the creatures, Kikyo herself was a vision to fear. Her gaze was solid on Kagome’s. “I am your future.”

Without warning, sometime between one shinidamachu’s course and the other, Kikyo’s features changed. Round, slightly wider eyes and shorter hair that refused to stay aligned: every aspect that distinguished the priestesses gone.

Kagome was staring at her own face.

“No!”

Kikyo laughed. It was only then Kagome realized the tune was entirely new to her ears. She never would have guessed it could sound so frightening.

“Yes! Fighting is no use. My incarnation shall walk the same path I did.” Her skin rotted before Kagome, bits of it falling to the ground until she was more a carcass than a person. “This is what you will become.”

“NO!”

“And here is where the path ends.”

Then she shot.

* * *

Snorting was inevitable.

At this point, being murdered was just playing annoying and if Kagome was being honest, that last time had been _particularly _irritating. Of the worst ways to die, an archer getting killed with an arrow to the head by her husband’s ex had to be the dumbest.

At least, now she identified a padron. Everyone so far conspired to prevent her from getting to InuYasha. If that was really the case, finding him became even more crucial.

Maybe she was running against the clock without even knowing. Maybe one of these lives would turn out to be her last, just like in one of Sota’s stupid games. Maybe InuYasha and Izayoi were in an even bigger trouble than she was.

Lucky for Kagome, practice made her pretty good at avoiding the mishaps along the road.

Mukotsu and Hakudoshi weren’t even a problem, and once she got to the forest, she took a Kikyo-free route. Way longer, but also effective.

When she arrived to the Sacred Tree clearing, a distorted déjà vu knocked the air out of her lungs.

There, sealed to the Goshinboku, InuYasha laid unconscious.

The scene took Kagome back to the day they met, except this time instead of a impressionist painting withdrawn from someone’s dream, it looked more like a picture one might only find on a police file.

Skin as white as his hair, the half demon seemed dead rather than sleeping, with the night shadows shaped his face in keen angles. The green of the vines that tangled up his body had long worn-out and the arrow piercing through his chest appeared to be ready to disintegrate at the minimum touch.

It was like time had decided to spare the place, an unaffected sanctuary forgotten by its course. Even the Beads of Subjugation were missing from his neck.

“InuYasha!”

Kagome raced to him. Hands shaking and stomach sinking, her mind was only put at ease once she felt InuYasha’s even breath, her fingers tracing his jawline out of habit.

Yearning for his voice, his warmth, she grabbed the arrow and pulled it out with less resistance than she had anticipated.

InuYasha opened his eyes, but they weren’t the gentle honeyed ones she was used to. Glaring right back at her, his irises were blue as the sea and, just like the ocean, beautiful enough to make you forget why it was dangerous to dive in too deep. Still she might have drowned in it, if it wasn’t for the vicious tone of crimson surrounding them.

Trying to keep her worst fears in check, Kagome stood before him and hoped for the best.

Of course the best never happened.

“I smell it. The blood of the woman who killed me.”

His statement fell upon her like a blizzard. Implacable, leaving nothing but wastelands and a desolate cold on its awakening. Lilac strips sprouted on both his cheeks.

“Wha-”

Forceful and skilled, five sharp talons bore deep inside her flesh before the question could be even asked.

Her body reacted sooner than her brain.

The impact was excruciating in every sense of the word. Her blood all over his hand, his deathly grin. It was obvious what had happened, but even if Kagome had in herself to conjure a thought that wasn’t about the sheer agony that started in her heart and spread to the extremities in wildfire flares, she wouldn’t have believed it.

There was a clench on his grip and black dots obscured her sight. Although Kagome could feel her lips struggling to talk, nothing more than pathetic, meaningless sounds came off. Then his touch was gone and she was discarded to the ground.

InuYasha remained unbothered, smiling down at her as she died.

* * *

Kagome couldn’t stop shivering.

Silent tears bathed her face as she grasped her hair.

He had killed her. InuYasha had killed her. Her husband, the man who had sworn to protect her with his own life had murdered her without a second thought and the fingers that had once caressed hers with such devotion, betrayed her trust and ripped her heart out.

He wasn’t himself when he did it, Kagome was aware of it. Nevertheless, InuYasha had turned into a full demon before. There hasn’t been a single time when he had hurt her to the point of no return.

Truth be told, it wasn’t quite her case, since Kagome _had _returned. Details of _how _this continued to happen were still unclear, but she _would _find out. She would bring InuYasha back to himself and if Naraku was really the one scheming against them, he would be very, _very _sorry.

Mukotsu. Hakudoshi. Kikyo. None of them managed to stop her when Kagome got out to what she was sure to be her thousandth try.

More than a girl on a mission, she was a girl who realized the best defense is a strong offensive.

Which was why instead of heading to the Sacred Tree right away, Kagome went to the village.

The apocalyptic scenario that received her did little to wave her resolve. Burnt houses, abandoned objects: Kagome sidestepped all of them, telling herself it wasn’t real. Everything would go back to normal as soon as she discovered how to fix it. That didn’t keep her eyes from wandering briefly to where Miroku and Sango’s place was, neither her disappointment from surfacing when she noticed nobody was home. 

It was okay. Maybe that meant they were safe or on the run with their children. Be as it may, they weren’t the ones Kagome was looking for.

The village was unrecognizable. What had been so full of life now resembled a cemetery, gray and quiet. All the way to Kaede’s hut, not a soul presented itself. Kagome worried the ancient priestess had left too and when she arrived to her destination, she wished Kaede had left, after all.

In the center of the hut, Kaede’s remains hanged from the ceiling, a rope around her neck and a feeding raven on her shoulder.

At the sound of Kagome’s exclamation, the bird took fly, frightened by the interruption. She got out as well, fighting against the acid taste on her mouth.

In vain.

She emptied the contents of her stomach on the floor quite loudly.

Kagome had that coming since she first found her family, but with Mukotsu on her heels, there hadn’t been time to process that horrible view properly: her survival instinct wouldn’t allow her to. Now facing the music was inevitable and she didn’t like it one bit.

She composed herself. Kagome had come to Kaede in the hopes that her wisdom could tell her what to do. Just because that wasn’t possible anymore, it didn’t mean that her efforts should go to waste.

Holding her breath, she entered the hut again. The faint smell of smoke had masked the putridity within the area, but from the moment she inhaled it, nothing else could overpower it.

Avoiding to glance at the dead priestess, Kagome immediately got to work. She turned the place upside down, examined every corner, until find in a dustied little chest the items she seeked.

She also grabbed a bow, mercifully lying on the back wall, alongside with a quiver full of arrows, which she threw over her shoulders.

Craving for some fresh air, Kagome stormed out to the first secure spot she laid her eyes on. There, she opened the chest, bringing black and white beads to the moonlight. It was a long shot, but the only one she had. Praying that they were already enchanted, Kagome put the articles together in a rosary and ran to InuYasha.

“I wish I could say this will hurt me more than you.” With an apologetic look, Kagome set the Kotodama around his neck, then took off the arrow that sealed him to the tree and stepped back, her own arrow aimed to him by precaution.

InuYasha woke up, his eyes still demonic. Kagome didn’t think twice.

“Sit, boy!”

The rosary glew and brought him down. A wave of pure relief washed over her, but it was nothing compared to the bliss of meeting amber irises when he managed to lift his face off the ground.

“InuYasha?” Tried Kagome, slightly letting her guard down.

“You _bitch_!” InuYasha hissed as he stood up. Something about his wrath — probably the insult — took Kagome back to their infernal cat and mouse days, just before they became friends. When he spoke again, she discovered that was exactly the case. “It ain’t like you to rely on these little tricks, Kikyo.” InuYasha shook the dirt off his suikan and displayed his claws in a characteristic fighting posture, which made Kagome note he didn’t have Tessaiga on him. “Why dontcha shoot one of those arrows of yours? Gimme everything ya got. I won’t go easy on you this time.”

“Not Kikyo. Kagome. Ka-go-me!” Having to say that phrase once more, to him of all people, annoyed Kagome out of her mind.

“Keh. How much of a fool do ya take me for, Kikyo?”

“InuYasha, listen to me!”

The half demon attacked, but Kagome miraculously diverted his assault and ran deeper into the forest.

He was on her tail, both of them knowing he could catch up with her whenever he wanted. Still, Kagome couldn’t bear the thought of shooting him. Not him.

“If you just... take a break... for a minute and... hear me out...” She bargained, lungs giving up on her, legs burning. InuYasha paid no attention to her plea. He was a hunter, a killing machine. It would take more than negociation to get him to stop.

He was getting ready to strike. She could feel it.

“That’s it for you!”

“Sit!”

She waited until the the thundering noise of InuYasha hitting the ground echoed to slow down and turn around.

“Please, InuYasha, you have to remember me! Make an effort, okay? What did they do to you? Where did they take Izayoi? Where’s Tessaiga?”

Aside from a quick enraged glare, InuYasha ignored her altogether, too busy furiously trying to take the Kotodama off.

“InuYasha!”

“Damn it, Kikyo, quit stalling already!” Apparently deciding the beads were a lost battle, InuYasha darted to her again.

“Sit!”

Colorful curses left his mouth left and right, after the spell wore off and he could finally move. It was the gap she needed.

“I’ll talk and you will listen. Otherwise, I’ll take you down again. It’s up to you.”

Beyond displeased, InuYasha sustained her gaze. Kagome didn’t back down and was rewarded with a grumpy expression.

“_Well_? Spit it out!”

“It’s a long story, but… I’m not Kikyo.”

InuYasha considered her for a moment, his thoughts indecipherable. She expected his keen senses to confirm her statement without a hitch. If not, her clothes would get the point across just fine.

“I believe ya.”

“You do?” Kagome said, wondering if the raw hope on her voice was as evident to his ears as it was to hers.

“Yeah. In a closer look, you ain’t as pretty.” Reminding herself that he didn't really mean it, Kagome resisted the urgency of sitting him into oblivion. That would be just playing spiteful. InuYasha crinkled his nose. "Your smell isn't as good, either, and that’s gotta be the weirdest kimono I’ve ever seen.” He paused, then shrugged. “So you ain’t her. Big deal. It doesn’t change a damn thing."

It would be hard to swallow her pride and maintain focus if his tone didn’t have left her at edge.

"What do you mean?”

“That I’mma still gonna kill ya.” InuYasha explained, as if she was the dumbest person alive. “Whoever the fuck you are, I won’t let a human walk around subduing me at her will.” Instead of pulling it out, he now tried to rip the rosary off. Kagome rolled her eyes.

“How? You’ll be eating dirt before you could ever touch me. All I have to do is say the word.” InuYasha let it go of the beads, all of his hatred directed to Kagome.

“You’re just a pathetic, weak girl. Gonna have to sleep some time. I ain’t in a hurry.”

“In that case, I take it you will follow me anywhere I go, then.” She settled, pretending his threats had no effect on her whatsoever. InuYasha didn’t answered. She didn’t need him to. “Good.”

Kagome stumble on through the night, with InuYasha’s reluctant presence not far behind.

“All right!” She exclaimed, to put her thoughts in order. “It could be worse. At least now I have InuYasha by my side. Sure, he has no idea of who I am and wants to kill me, but that’s fixable. I bet Miroku knows someone who can help. They probably headed to Sango’s village. If we walk fast enough we’ll make it there by-”

“Don’t you ever shut the fuck up?”

She sighed. It would be a long trip.

Hours and hours of InuYasha being his most unpleasant self really took a toll on her and fatigue started to show. It would be better to continue, to cover more ground. However, the sun began to rise and Kagome decided to sit down before her body gave up on her and enjoy its light for a bit. For quite a while now, she had only known cold rain and cruel winds. The sunlight was a reminder of how far she had come. Surviving a whole night was something to celebrate, in her current situation.

Unfortunately, she had reached the limits of exhaustion. Kagome needed to sleep, and if she did, InuYasha would kill her on the spot. She could feel him circling her like a vulture whenever she closed her eyes a few seconds longer than a blink. It was a losing game.

“None of the stories I told you rang any bells?” Kagome had thrown countless tales of their journey on him. Facts, secrets, anything that could trigger his memory. She would be luckier talking to a wall. “How about this: I take the Kotodama off you.”

_That _seemed to break the ice.

“Why would you do that?”

“A sign of good faith. I take them off and in exchange, you neither hurt me or run away. Deal?”

“Get on with it already!”

It was sad to admit she didn’t trust InuYasha to keep his end of the bargain, but at least if she took a risk, there was a small possibility of it paying off, after all. If he kills her… Well, she would just have to start from scratch.

Kagome got up and went to him. Slowly, testing the waters. Impatience emmaned from every gesture he made, urging her to move faster. When they were close enough, she removed the rosary. Then he smiled at her and whatever weariness she still felt became irrelevant.

“InuYasha? Is that you? Did you remember me?”

His smile turned wider and wider.

“Not at all.” Out of the blue, a clawed hand closed around her neck, choking Kagome impetuously. She dropped the Kotodama to the floor, reaching for his arm in a weak attempt to break free. It only caused him to lift her up and squeeze harder, until her breath was finally gone.

* * *

Eighty-first time was the charm.

What kept her going, after all the failures, was the confidence that, however long it took, she would get it right eventually.

Kagome was running out of mistakes to make.

She had tried to get help. Sango and Miroku. Koga, Totosai, Myoga. Even Sesshoumaru. So far the scoreboard marked fourteen beheadings, ten stabs, eight chokes, three arrow shots and one drowning — which was specially infuriating, because she was a really good swimmer — and those were only the most memorable ones.

No matter what she did different, the outcome was always the same: her death.

To make things worse, InuYasha had no remembrance of who she was. It was like they had never met. As if Kagome had been erased from his life forever. Still, there was no way she would leave him behind, so she swore to get him back if it killed her. Which, to be fair, happened more often than not.

Hypnosis, describing their life together, letting him inhale her scent — she had even tried kissing him once. None of it induced his memories.

So there they were again, alone in the middle of nowhere, stuck in the same impasse.

“So whatcha telling me is that you’re Kikyo’s reincarnation?”

“That’s right.”

“And we’re married?”

“Yep.”

“What a lot of crap!” They both said, in unison. Kagome sighted at his puzzled look and left the rock she had been sitting on.

“Did I also mention I’m reliving the same day non stop because somehow I keep getting killed? Mostly by you.”

Matter of fact, the Kotodama around his neck and the bow and arrows over her shoulders were the only thing preventing another bloodbath from happening.

“You’re a crazy ass bitch.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

Kagome nocked an arrow, drawing the string and pointing directly at him. At the last second and without looking away, she changed her aim to the bush on her right, where a red eyed, old witch that had got her killed once or twice was hidden. She released the traction, hitting the creep straight in the head and raised a brow.

“This doesn’t prove anything. I knew she was there too. Not really brainy, are ya?”

“Ugh!” She threw the bow onto the grass, her hands closed in fists so hard her knuckles were probably white. “You believed me when I said I wasn’t Kikyo. What’ll take for you to believe everything else?”

“Why don’t you try a better lie than Kikyo dying so that a wannabe would take her place? Do ya really think, if there was any truth in your story, that I’d settle for a poor excuse of an imitation?”

Different words, same crushing feelings. Kagome should have been used to them by now, but no matter how the sentences were rearranged each new attempt, they still hit where it hurt.

The tears came pouring out as they pleased. She was tired of fighting them.

“I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.” Kagome lifted her chin to the night sky, throat aching with the effort not to sob. “DO YOU HEAR ME?” She screamed to whoever would listen. Never had occurred to her that accepting defeat could be so freeing. “I GIVE UP, YOU WIN!”

InuYasha watched with a sadistic smile while she curled into a ball and weeped.

He didn’t care.

He didn’t care if she was in pain and it didn’t matter to him that he was the one inflecting it to her. She might as well be a stranger. The saddest part was Kagome was starting to feel the same way about him. It was torture.

And _then _she understood.

“I see.”

The one thing she kept making each and every time, the one constant on this absolute mess.

“I thought I had to find InuYasha to escape.”

She had guessed all the obstacles separating them were thoroughly calculated to prevent their getaway.

How stupid of her.

It was for divert her from the truth.

“But you’re not him.”

Under her intense gaze, his lips formed a firm line and Kagome knew she was right.

“I should have noticed sooner. InuYasha would never, _ever _hurt me. And even when we weren’t friends yet… he couldn’t stand to see me cry.”

Kagome had the satisfaction to see the astonished expression on his face as he realized his mistake.

“_This _is real, isn’t it?” Melancholy and comprehension intertwining in a mix she had never experienced before. “InuYasha… he never came for me.”

It had been an illusion. All of it. Her rescue, the three years apart. Even her return to the Feudal Era, their marriage, Izayoi… Everything was nothing but a cruel scheme to torment her mind little by little and she fell for it.

“I’m still in the jewel.”

Just like that, the impostor wearing InuYasha’s face vanished. The forest crumbled and faded away, engulfing her into an awfully familiar darkness.

In the distance, an ominous laugh reverberated through the void, followed by a voice that terrified Kagome to her very core.

“_And you always will be_.”

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thank you so much for deciding to give my story a go and for coming this far. This one-shot is my longest one yet and pretty much the one that challenged me the most, since it was totally out of my comfort zone. It took me a lot of work and time and brain cells. That's why I ask (pretty please with sugar on top) that you leave a review.
> 
> It doesn't have to be clever or too thoughtful. Just tell me what you felt, what worked (or didn't) for you, the things you theoryzed you while reading. I had so much fun with this, maybe I turn this Halloween themed one-shot extravaganza into an annual thing (should I?).
> 
> Second of all, this title is a refference to Russian Doll, you know, because of all the deaths. Anyway...
> 
> Happy Halloween!


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